I need Ad-vice

English newspapers like the Times and Telegraph cost a fortune here in Tenerife, so instead I follow the news on my laptop, or on television (we can receive Sky, CNN, and BBC World News).

However, there are several English language newspapers published in the Canary Islands that are aimed at the expat and tourist market. These newspapers are distributed to shops and hotels and are available free of charge. I usually browse through these whilst waiting in my local unisex hairdressing shop.

These free newspapers carry very little actual news; most of the pages contain advertisements. And since most of the advertisements are placed by small and medium-sized local businesses (mostly Spanish), the standard of written English often leaves a lot to be desired.

Here's a selection of very odd advertisements, possibly mispelt, that I discovered just inside the back page of one of these newspapers , under the mysterious heading "Services".

Los Cristianos Laddies, do Greek, various kisses, in front of bus station.

Las Galletas, French with dour glass figure, discret apartmento.

Las Veronicas, Transvesti 20 years, blond, 140 breasts.

I don't understand; what on earth are these advertisements all about? It's a problem, and when I'm confronted by a problem, all sorts of mental images flash through my mind. My imagination is still working overtime on the examples above, but I think I'm nearly there with the one shown below.

Puerto Colon, Miss age, Dutch, in privy place.




Do you think I'm on the right path here?
:-)

For love of the game

It is a popular myth that the origins of the modern game of rugby can be traced back to an incident at Rugby School in Warwickshire, where there is a commemorative stone that celebrates the event. The stone is shown below:


The inscription has faded somewhat, and reads as follows:

THIS STONE
COMMEMORATES THE EXPLOIT OF
WILLIAM WEBB ELLIS
WHO WITH A FINE DISREGARD FOR THE RULES OF FOOTBALL
AS PLAYED IN HIS TIME
FIRST TOOK THE BALL IN HIS ARMS AND RAN WITH IT
THUS ORIGINATING THE DISTINCTIVE FEATURE OF
THE RUGBY GAME
A.D. 1823

An alternative theory, and one that is enthusiastically promoted by some followers of Association Football, suggests that Rugby was invented in Neolithic times, by Stone Age cave-dwellers.

THE ABOVE IMAGE
IS A REPRODUCTION OF
A PREHISTORIC CAVE DRAWING
DISCOVERED IN THE TWICKENHAM TUNNEL
AND WHICH IS BELIEVED TO DEPICT
THE AFTERMATH OF A PRE-MATCH ENCOUNTER
IN WHICH RETALIATION WAS GOT IN FIRST
BEFORE A GAME OF RUGBY
B.C. 13,823

So there we have it; two contrasting images, two quite different views. So which is the superior sport? Rugby, or Association Football? Is it possible to present a balanced and reasoned opinion in favour of one or the other?

I've got my views! And so, dear friends, lend me your ears!



If I were to present a serious case, I'd support rugby. A game of schoolboy rugby gives eight more boys the chance to participate; rugby provides more than just one way of scoring (try, conversion, penalty goal, drop goal); the oval ball provides greater technical challenges than the spherical ball; and the game offers opportunities for players with a wider variety of physical attributes to participate and to excel.

But why be so serious about this? There is a man who lives in my apartment block who comes home from work, and spends an hour outside practising football with his two teenage sons. And I'm reminded of me doing some similar stuff, using a different shaped ball, with my son.

It's all about love, really.

This is Me!

I've just completed an on-line quiz!
The result is shown in the graph above.

I'm told I am a "centrist moderate social authoritarian".
(Left: 0.18, Authoritarian: 1.78).

I wonder where you chaps might appear in the graph?
The link is shown below.

http://www.gotoquiz.com/politics/political-spectrum-quiz.html

:-)